I did however, hear a great statement the other day at Church - "NEVER LET A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN A PERSON TO BE LOVED."
WOW! That really hit me! If I can incorporate that statement into my everyday life, how much better off I can be! I am a stubborn, grudge holding, onery woman. I know it. Wouldn't even think about denying it. I have definitely let unsolved problems get in the way of loving people.
So, I am going to do my best to live the statement above a bit more. It won't be easy. There will not be quick changes. I hold on to hurtful things people do and say. I relive them over and over. If they are written to/about me, I read them over and over again. And anger and hurt fester.
There are a few things I know will be particularly challenging, so those I will work the hardest on.
Below is a blog post I stole from Jen (thanks, Jen, you are wise beyond your years) - it says a great deal in not too many words:
How Different We Are
There are times when I am placed in a situation and I am forced to realize how different we all are as individuals.
We as people are molded first by our parents, learning right from wrong and perfecting the golden rule. We learn from the world around us. Each given different experiences to create the person that the rest of the world will see.
Relationships both good and bad are hugely responsible in shaping our preferences, communication skills and needs. Some of us are sensitive needing more physical affection and enduring words to lift our confidence. Some of us are strong and need little emotion to carry on most of our relationships. Some are used to having lengthy discussions to make sure that communication is thorough. Some are happy to think that less is more.
No one is right or holds more truth than the other, we are all just different.
We should really embrace the differences between us instead of finding them as fault in others. Surely we can all stand to learn a thing or two from each other.
No one is right or holds more truth than the other, we are all just different.
We should really embrace the differences between us instead of finding them as fault in others. Surely we can all stand to learn a thing or two from each other.
'Embracing the differences between us' can help me put priorities right. Being over-sensitive and getting hurt or angry because you might see something differently than I is something I need to work on.
If you choose to judge me as if you know what is going on in my heart and my mind and my life, I need to learn to let you do so and not let your judgement made in partial ignorance hurt me.
And I definitely need to work on forgiveness. Grudges held - sometimes for years - hurt only the one holding the grudge. The other(s) have gotten over it and moved on. Only me, holding on to it still incurs damage from it. Letting go of a hurt is not a weakness. It is not giving the one who offended me the right to hurt me, it is not saying whatever they did was right. It is saying they - and I - am human. And to let go of the bad feelings is to put down the burden I have been carrying.
I'm rambling and I've gone off on a tangent. Yet somehow it all ties together in some strange way.
The point is, although it won't happen overnight, I will eventually learn 'no one is right or holds more truth than the other, we are all just different' and 'to never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved'.
And just so you know, if you are reading this, you are someone I love.
